To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come...Indeed. What dreams may come. Today. Tonight. Tomorrow.
There seem to be many different viewpoints on dreams. They may be a way of our mind working things out from the day. They may be symbols for our lives and our futures. They may be nothing more than simple firings of neurons.
But whatever the case, dreams can be more real than the waking world. They can alter our moods and cause us to scream out loud.
I seem to be having somewhat frequent workmares. Obviously, they are nightmares about work. But there is a catch; it is not the job that I am currently working at. In fact, I don't believe that I dream about my job right now at all.
I dream about losing children. About being lost in the classroom. About being unhappy in the classroom. About being frustrated in the classroom. Hmmmm.....I think that I was lost, unhappy, and frustrated. But what do I do with it now? I have left that environment for the time being but clearly I have not resolved something. I believe that "something" is that I have failed at being a teacher.
When you lose confidence in yourself it is hard to see what positive skills you had. Especially since the end of teaching was so rocky for me. But there are some good things that I remember.
There is something joyous about a child coming up to you and talking to you. They have so much to share. And if you let them, they will tell you everything. I loved telling stories and looking around at enthralled faces. Or signing. Signing with children is so much fun. But I think the best part is when they teach you something. One day they may remind you how beautiful and miraculous the sprout of a new plant is. And the next, they remind you of your own patience. They always have a new perspective on something; a way that adults have forgotten to see. And love. They love and trust unconditionally. I need to remember that today in my new job in the business world. Love and trust everyone you work with. We are all working towards the same goals.
Now maybe my dreams can be populated with pleasant children and found memories. Maybe not. But what dreams may come...I am ready to work through.
Till tomorrow,
Amelia
Nice thoughts. My children teach me something about myself nearly every day (and often something not pretty).
ReplyDeleteBTW, Its been at least 10 years since I've waited tables, but like once a year I have the waiter dream. Anyone that worked as a waiter for a reasonable length of time probably had the panic dream - you are in the weeds and being sat the entire restaurant dream.